>>145oh yeah this is good advice. it seems obvious but I never really thought about this, and this seems super do-able.
I guess part of it is also getting over my own insecurities, especially when it comes to kink stuff, since this is the first time I've had a lot of kinky people around me consistently. This would also explain why I can let my guard down a bit and relax and get with people easier abroad, because I don't worry as much.
I do think a lot of people I come across though are kinda awkward with it and may be like stepping over some lines a little bit, but only because they're also autistic and awkward like me too. I'm still dealing with some trauma stuff too, and I find people get a bit too eager with some darker stuff they should probably check first with, which causes me to recoil.
Still though, I feel like I'm in a better place in general right now, and this advice gives me confidence with the next time I put myself out there a bit, I'll probably be able to know roughly what to do. Thank you!